Dear Friend,
There’s various things running through my head today - don’t know if they fit together. Or actually I know they fit together but I’m not sure I can cover them all in one shot.
Anxiety is the great characteristic of this generation. It’s becoming rampant and the generations growing up now are getting more and more anxious. I heard that at a presentation on AI this past week, though it’s not the only place I’ve heard it.
One theme I heard yesterday as I talked to you was a need for approval. I know that you think it would help you deal with your anxiety. But, unfortunately, you are wrong. If it’s need of approval on your performance or job skills or the way you work from other people - be it your boss or your co-workers or clients or any other person - it will always disappoint you.
For at least two reasons. First of all, it will need to be repeated, even if it comes, and a constant need for approval or reassurance will only lead to more anxiety. There might be a temporary relief and temporary gain, but the anxiety will return and sometimes be stronger and more urgent. And secondly, there will always be those who disapprove of something - whether one or all aspects of what you are doing or what you just did. Not everyone will approve. Ever. So, where does it leave you if you need it? Always wanting.
And I know what the answer really is and I think that you have been in places to have heard it. But I don’t know that you have heard it. Whether because you weren’t listening, it wasn’t said clearly or you have forgotten or had your ears blocked by sin, the enemy or anxiety.
If you don’t find your approval and reassurance from God and from His views of you, you will never be at peace or less anxious. And it’s not that God thinks you are perfect or worthy of His love and approval.
The point of Jesus dying on the cross is that we can never win or earn God’s approval. And no one else’s approval matters or will give us lasting satisfaction.
Jesus died for us while we were sinners. We/I have never been able to do or be anything that would enable God, in His perfect holiness and majesty to be in my presence. He can’t be or remain in the presence of sin without destroying it. Rather bizarre to think that the only thing an all powerful God can’t do is be in the presence of sin. But, rather than destroying us/me and thereby the sin that is so completely a part of us/me, He made a way for us/me to become righteous - that is - without sin. Nothing we/I can do, nothing we/I can earn. No action or performance of ours/mine can ever accomplish that. But Jesus.
It’s not something that can easily be explained or understood. But centuries of trying and years of wrestling with it mean that some people have understood enough to try and explain it to the rest of us. The wages of sin is death. That’s what we all earn. That’s what our performance and efforts lead to. On our own, that’s all we would ever experience and ever attain to.
Every performance appraisal, every review would have the same result: FAIL! YOU DIDN’T MEET THE STANDARD THAT WAS REQUIRED! The standard required was perfection and I can’t meet it. You can’t meet it. No one can.
So - what happens? Do the standards change? Do the requirements get revised? Nope. They don’t change, they don’t get revised. God can only be in the presence and approve of perfect people. Where does that leave us when we have no hope of achieving that standard?
Without Jesus, it leaves us exactly nowhere. No hope. No life. No expectations.
But - Jesus.
Again not easy to understand or explain - but somehow, Jesus attained the perfect standard that was required and because he did, he is able to redeem us and pay the price for our failures. The wages of sin is death. His death paid the price. The blood of his sacrifice covers us and God doesn’t see the sin. I can refuse the gift. I can refuse to accept that I could never attain the perfect standard. I can keep trying to reach the standard.
I can believe that I am capable - believe that I can do it! But I would be believing a lie and living in denial and delusion. And many do so today.
I can refuse the gift or I can accept the gift. No other options. Keep striving myself, or acknowledge that I will never be good enough or competent enough. Many do that today, too, but then decide that they don’t want to receive something they can’t earn themselves and still ignore the gift.
I can never receive God’s approval on my own. I am not capable. I can not achieve the perfect standard. FAIL! If that was the only way I would be completely and utterly blocked.
But - Jesus! Jesus said “I AM the Way”. What “way”? He is the way to God. The way to life with God. The way to life and approval of the perfect God who can’t be in the presence of sin without destroying it.
And when I have that approval and that position (standing) in front of God - what difference can it possibly make whether I have the approval and assurance of anyone else? What difference does it make whether my boss or my co-workers think that I am capable or doing a good job? Yes, I do want to know that I am doing the job I was hired to do and to an acceptable standard. But the significance of that approval or disapproval on my character and my life is negligible and only relevant to the job. The rest of my life and self worth are independent from any approval or disapproval I receive from my job or my work.
There might be anxious moments or anxious thoughts related to my job and my work, but if “I” am okay and my eternal destiny is assured, then that anxiety is such a small part of my world that it doesn’t matter all that much. And I have other ways to deal with the anxiety.
If I’ve been bought and redeemed to God, then the King of the Universe and creator of all, is someone I can go to with my concerns and problems. I am His child - and He cares about me and my concerns. “In this world you will have troubles” - there still are concerns and things that make us anxious.
Whether our earthly fathers were helpful or not (and let’s admit that most of them fail spectacularly when it comes to helping us through life and being present for us, though some do better than others), what difference does it make that the King of the Universe was willing to die - and did die - so that you can be in His presence? Whatever example and attitude your father presented to you, that’s probably not the kind of Father that God is.
What difference does it make to the living out of my life that the King of the Universe cares about me and sees me and cares about what’s going on in my life?
Does it mean that I am never anxious about anything? Hardly. But it does mean that there’s a perspective about the other anxieties and concerns. I may momentarily be distracted from God’s view about me by something someone else says about me or my work - BUT - there’s another view that matters much more and has longer and more lasting effects than anything anyone else says.
If I make mistakes - WHEN I make mistakes (wouldn’t we all prefer it to be “if”, even though it’s always “when”) - it doesn’t mean that I and my eternal destiny are in danger. It means that I am realizing anew why I need the gift of salvation - why I couldn’t earn it myself. Why Jesus had to die. And if people are commenting on my failures, then it’s good to pay attention and learn from it. And move on, which can be the hard part - acknowledge mistakes and failures but move on, don’t sit there. Repent always. Seek forgiveness if necessary - but don’t let moving on be dependent on receiving it from other people - it may or may not be forthcoming from them but it’s always forthcoming from God.
Criticism from others might also mean I am being attacked. And if the comments or criticisms have no answer or no way of fixing or no suggestions about changing the way I do things that are constructive, then it’s not really something to pay attention to or focus on. So that’s when there’s a ton of Psalms about God being my refuge and fortress, strong tower, defense, light and salvation, place of refuge [revenging savior and vindicating redeemer even]. That’s when there’s a wealth of other Bible verses to memorize or read in a steady stream (ie Phil 4:4-9). Or music to listen to in order to remind myself about the ways God views me or the things I have to be thankful for or even just a reminder that in the end, God wins. It’s already true that God has won and evil has been defeated, but the realization of that truth and that reality are yet to come in our current reality.
